Dramatic Dental Hygiene

Adriana begged me to brush her teeth with her.

I believe Adriana hates getting her teeth brushed, but begs me to brush her teeth because she likes the attention. When it comes to the part where the toothbrush enters her mouth, she wants no part of the hygiene ritual. Today she screamed a care worker’s name while I patiently faced her with the toothbrush. We have the difficulty that she won’t open her mouth to allow her teeth to be brushed even after she’s claimed that she wants her teeth brushed and/or she shakes her head from left to right so that it is impossible to brush her teeth. For this reason I make her do “toothbrush exercises” before I consent to brushing her teeth each day. These exercises require her to open her mouth for 5 seconds straight without turning her head.

Today a cleaning lady passed by the door and looked in. We were in the middle of teeth brushing and Adriana was being especially difficult. When I saw the cleaning lady, I said loud enough for the woman to hear: “Oh, let’s show the cleaning lady how you brush your teeth!”

The older woman kindly stopped and looked in on us.

“Open your mouth!” I commanded with enthusiasm.

I could see the desire to please in Adriana’s eyes. She had a look of pride as she held her mouth open despite the fact that she didn’t want to. Quickly I put the toothbrush in her mouth and then began to count, “1,2 …”

Seconds one and two are usually the best two seconds when I can actually hit some surface area of the teeth.

“3, 4 …”

Now Adriana began wagging her head back and forth, slowly at first but then the momentum built. The more she wags her head, the more uncomfortable she is with the toothbrush in her mouth. Her lips were closing. I couldn’t see if I was doing good work with the toothbrush at all, but I was hoping that I was managing to at least sideswipe one tooth. By now she was starting to moan.

“…5 …!”

I breathe out and smiled as I removed the brush from her mouth.

“Okay,” I said as though it wasn’t that dramatic of a five seconds. “We’ll take a break and then we have some more brushing to do on the bottom.”

Adriana didn’t look excited.

“Well brush for five seconds,” I reminded her, “and then we’ll take another break.”

I looked at the cleaning lady’s face. She was laughing. Our efforts at dental hygiene were so pathetic they were humorous. I think that Adriana wasn’t aware of how poorly she was doing, and my upbeat attitude about the whole event brought added layers of humor.

The cleaning lady tried to encourage Adriana and help make my work easier. “I brush my teeth every day!” She told Adriana. “It makes our breath smell good.”

“Oh, yes,” I chimed in, “And it’s healthy for us!”

“Yes, yes!” the cleaning lady backed me up. “Well, I’ve got to mop the floor in here, so I’ll see ya around...”