Separating the Boys From the Girls

So a British Charity has arrived that wants to work with Marin Pazon. I am so glad they are there because I don’t feel so alone when they’re here. Like me, they want so much more for the orphanage only they've come with a whole team ready to do something.

Today the woman who leads the group came in the room where I was feeding Lucica mashed potatoes for lunch and sat down across for me.

“We’ve noticed that some of the boys are living in the girls quarters in the orphanage,” she began.

I nodded. This had bothered me, too, in the beginning, but after initially noticing it, I had gotten used to it.

“We don’t approve of this and we want to make it completely clear to the director that this is unacceptable.”

Okay.

“We think that if all the foreigners get together on this and all say the same thing, it will motivate the director to change things.”

So she wanted me to be clear that I disagreed, too.

I honestly thought about what she said, and following after the Romanian way, I didn’t hesitate to bring up any oppositional thoughts. If I was going to be with the British folks on this, I wanted to be with them 100%.

“I have one thought,” I explained, before agreeing. “I’ve noticed that they’ve put some of the more passive boys with the girls, and I’m worried about how the other boys will treat the more passive boys if they are grouped together.”

I thought about this comment later as I was walking home, and realized that really I’m thinking of Vasile, the small 15-year-old boy who is often grouped with the girls. I do see him get hurt by the big boys, and I am afraid of anything happening to him. I’ve never noticed him mistreating any of the girls. I only notice him being safe.

The woman told me, “That’s a different situation entirely, and we need to start with the step of separating for boys from the girls.” It seemed to me she wasn’t concerned for the small boys as much as she was concerned for the small girls. And it seems that if we are going to begin protecting someone first, and we should have to choose, it should be the small girls.

“No matter how passive some of boys are, they are still boys,” a young British girl told me, as she listened behind her leader. I agreed.

The British woman continued and brought up some of the girls who had been placed with the boys. She brought up the fact that many of the male staff sleep at the orphanage and have care of the girls that had been placed with the boys. I cringed. I knew what she was getting at. Quite possibly our worst nightmares had already happened.

Yes, yes, yes, I agreed, and I would support them.