Random Compilation of Camp Thoughts

6/20/09

So I'm sharing things with the staff. Yesterday, for example, when the kids were in bed, I joined them at the table and ate mici (sounds like "Mitch"). Then tonight I hung out with the younger crowd in front of the television. Earlier today, I stayed with them on the lawn while the children "napped."

It was so nice tucking the boys in. Adi wanted badly to get out of bed, but wouldn't do it when we told him not to. I "lead" us in the Lord's prayer and gave the boys a kiss (on both cheeks, or course. Romanian style) before turning out the lights.

I'm worried about judgement day and standing before God, because it seems there are times when I consider my own comfort and take the easy road rather than helping the kids or thinking of them first. For example, today something disgusting was on my hand (mucus from someone's cough, maybe), and I instictively wiped it on Vasilie's shirt. Selfishness seems so natural to me, while really putting the lowly ahead of myself takes effort.

There were time of difficulty today, and I felt certain that I would never return again.

I figured out that Ana Maria can't produce the /s/ or /z/ sounds. Alexandra walked around saying /ks/ all afternoon, which are sounds in her name I taught her. This gave me great pleasure. My first chance to encooperate what I learned at school with the orphanage children.

Florin, the staff worker, called me a prostitute because I wouldn't sit near him while we watched a film this evening on the TV upstairs. The only reason I moved away was because I wanted to make it clear to him I'm not interested. He's not married, but he has six children which I've never seen. Florin, the mostly deaf orphan, tried several times to put his arms around me while we watched the film, until I got up and left.

We danced tonight before dinner, the children and staff, and this seemed something of a small success. The children were enjoying themselves, as well as the staff.

The compassion that I show my neighbor seems small and weak. Help me, God, to rise up against the wicked. If it is not for your help, I will slip and fall. I do slip and fall. Father, Son, Spirit, I need you. (Psalm 94)

Every moment of these children's lives they live with disadvantages that we don't know, like walking and speaking ... but one of their secrets seems to be that they have advantanges that we'll never know.

They smile at the simplist things that make me wonder who really has the better lot?

But honestly, my ability to walk and communicate are a source of so much pleasure and life for me, and I'm using it all to myself, primarily. But I don't want to. It doesn't seem right if I have the gift of walking, then hasn't it been given to me to share? So that those who normally couldn't, can walk?